Someone to Watch Over
by a fan
Summary: Hey do you guys remember way back to the pilot? Max stayed away from Logan for almost three months after saving him in the hospital. I Always wondered why Max stayed away so long and what was going on in their lives. Well, here it is. JUL 15/01 - JUST SOM
1. Welcome Home

Disclaimer: I don't own em..  
  
Title: Someone to Watch Over  
  
Spoilers: Pilot  
  
A/N: Hey do you guys remember way back to the pilot? Max stayed away from Logan for almost three months after saving him in the hospital. I always wondered why Max stayed away so long and what was going on in their lives. Well, here it is.  
  
Chapter 1: Welcome Home  
  
Welcome Home Logan!!  
  
Max was standing on the roof of the building across the street from Fogle Towers waiting for Logan's Aztec to pull up. She had raced over on her lunch break from Jam Pony. Logan was coming home today. She had snuck by the hospital earlier in the morning and conned it out of one of the nurses with some lame story about being his long lost cousin or secretary or something. Whatever. She had gone by everyday since the shooting but never went in to see him. She wasn't going to get too involved in his life. At least she wasn't going to let him know that. Who was this guy anyway? She barely knew him. Just a fool who got his ass shot off trying to save a world that didn't want saving. Still she just wanted to make sure he got home okay.  
  
The Aztec pulled up in front of the building. Max recognized Logan's tousled hair through the passenger window. A big guy, Logan's therapist, climbed out of the driver's side and pulled a wheelchair from the trunk. He moved to the passenger side of vehicle and opened the door. Max could barely hear his muffled voice.  
  
"Sorry Man, I know this is gonna hurt." He had Logan place his arms around his neck then carefully supported Logan's back and legs in his arms as he moved him from the car to the wheelchair. He was very strong but had a gentle touch. Still, Logan winced. Although Logan was silent Max could clearly see the pain etched into his pale face. The big man bent down and placed Logan's legs in the foot pedals then checked that he was seated as comfortably as possible. Logan had lost so much weight that he was almost lost in the baggy sweats he was wearing.  
  
He looks so small and vulnerable, thought Max to herself. The cynicism in her face melted into compassion. "Logan, why did you have to get yourself into this mess?"   
  
The therapist pushed Logan inside the building. His voice trailed off "You need two more weeks ... hospital...or at least rehab...no beds available." Typical post-pulse world thought Max. Even rich-boy Logan Cale can't find a rehab bed.  
  
Max waited for them to ride the elevator up to Logan's apartment. It was pitch black in there. Max hadn't returned since the deal with Lauren Braganza. The penthouse was suddenly flooded with light as the two men entered. Max listened intently to their voices.  
  
"Welcome home Logan" The therapist's voice broke the silence in the apartment. Max was keenly aware that there was no one else there to welcome Logan home.  
  
"Welcome Home Mr. Hero! Saviour of the World!" Max mouthed sarcastically to herself. "Why is your therapist-for-hire the only one to welcome you home Logan? That's what you get for putting your ass on the line. They'll use you up, suck you dry then dump you. The world doesn't have any use for a broken hero." Then unintentionally her voice softened. "Where are your friends and family? Why are you going through this alone?"  
  
"Thanks, Bling. Would you mind pushing me over to the window." Logan stared out the window almost directly at Max. His blue eyes which were usually alive with enthusiasm for life were darkened with pain. It seemed to Max that he was looking for something that he had lost, ready to spend hours in front of the window searching for that missing thing he didn't even know he needed. The weight of the world seemed to be weighing down on his frail body. Almost by reflex Max reached out her hand to comfort him across the chasm of the street that separated them.   
  
"Max, what are you doing!" she berated herself. "Leave this guy alone!" But she already knew, even against her best judgement, that she was going to stay. Hey, even a hero could use another person pulling for him.  
  
Bling's voice startled them both. "Okay, here's the plan. The next two weeks your job is to eat sleep and relax and give your body a chance to heal. Then we will go to work."  
  
"Okay" Logan replied listlessly.  
  
"Okay. Now first things first. What would you like for lunch?"  
  
"I'm not really hungry..." Logan was still staring out the window.  
  
"I didn't ask if you were hungry. I asked what you would like for lunch. And you will eat, hungry or not." Bling's voice took on a no-nonsense tone. He pulled Logan away from the window and wheeled him into the kitchen.  
  
"This Bling guy's good." thought Max. He wasn't going to let Logan pull any crap. Yet, he had an understanding and compassion that Max was surprised to see.  
  
Max looked at her watch. The lunch hour was long past. She could hear Normal yelling "Where the firetruck's Max?!" Yet she couldn't leave.   
  
"Bling, could you help me find my journal? I really need to do some writing and clear my head. I think I left it in the bedroom. It's a brown leather covered notebook."  
  
"Sure Man." Bling rolled Logan from the kitchen back to the window and went into the bedroom to retrieve the notebook. He returned shortly and handed the book and a pen to Logan.  
  
"I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up if you need me." Bling left Logan to his thoughts.  
  
Logan sat in front of the window for a long time. He would alternate staring out the window for minutes on end to pouring his emotions furiously onto the pages of his notebook.  
  
Suddenly Logan's body stiffened dramatically. His notebook fell to the floor and his eyes darkened as a flood of pain washed over him. As he doubled over in agony Max could hear his breath come out in low moaning gasps.  
  
Bling was there in an instant.  
  
"Logan. You're having back spasms. We need to get you out of the chair and lying down to allow your back muscles to relax." Bling's calming voice somehow got Logan's attention.  
  
"Please don't move me." Logan had a pleading look in his eyes. The pain was overwhelming him and he was terrified of being touched.  
  
"Logan. Please look at me. I promise it will be better once we get you lying down." Bling's voice was gentle yet focused as he tried to reach Logan through the pain.  
  
Logan looked into Bling's eyes with a desperate trust. He nodded his head then steeled himself for the inevitable shock of pain as Bling carefully picked him up and laid him on the couch. Max cringed as she heard another tortured moan come from Logan.   
  
"We're almost there, Logan. Just keep breathing." Bling spoke softly as he propped Logan onto his side and supported him in position by placing cushions under his head and behind his legs. He gently rolled up Logan's sweatshirt and began to work on Logan's tortured back muscles. Max was shocked to see how thin Logan was. She could easily see the outline of his ribs even from across the road. It looked like Logan hadn't eaten in weeks. No wonder Bling was so determined earlier to have Logan eat.  
  
Bling quietly went to work, patiently working on the muscles up and down Logan's spine. As he gently kneaded out the knots Max could hear Logan's breathing return to normal.  
  
"Is it easing up?" Bling asked gently.  
  
Logan nodded almost imperceptibly.  
  
"I'll continue for a few more minutes then we will turn you onto your back."  
  
"Okay." Came the muffled reply. It was the first word Logan was able to utter in almost an hour.  
  
Bling then gently turned Logan onto his back. Max could see Logan cringe again as he was moved but he was able to relax once more as Bling propped him up with a couple of cushions.  
  
"Logan, close your eyes if you can and try to get some rest. I'll be right here beside you." Bling's calming voice seemed to have a soothing effect on Logan. The look of trust was back in Logan's eyes as he looked up at Bling. He then closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep as exhaustion overtook him.  
  
Bling's kindness to Logan overwhelmed Max. She had never seen someone treat another person so gently before. At Manticore Max had been taught not to be surprised at what people could do to each other. But she had never been shown the good people were capable of. In these few moments Bling had taught Max a lesson she would never forget.  
  
Bling was true to his word and stayed at Logan's side until he awoke a few hours later.  
  
"How are you feeling?" The concern was obvious in Bling's voice.  
  
"Better. Thanks." There was a calmness in Logan's voice that wasn't there before. "Could you help me sit up?"  
  
Max could see that it hurt Logan to be moved once again, but he seemed to be calmed by Bling's presence. Bling stayed close to Logan for the remainder of the afternoon and evening making sure that he was comfortable. He would help Logan shift positions periodically when his muscles became fatigued. He retrieved Logan's journal and also brought him a book to read. He left Logan's side only long enough to prepare a simple meal then returned to keep him company. They didn't speak much but Bling was there in case Logan needed anything.  
  
When Logan finally fell asleep for the night Max left for home. She slipped quietly in the door. She knew Kendra would drill her about where she was all day and night. What was she gonna tell her? I was hanging out on the roof across the street from Logan's. I watched him eat. I watched him sit on the couch and try to read. I watched as his therapist rearranged the furniture in the house to make room for his wheelchair. I watched him trying to write in his journal. I watched him doubled over in agony when a back spasm hit him. I watched him cringe in pain every time he needed to be moved. I watched him stare out the window for hours without saying a word. Yea right!  
  
Max was on watch again the next day when the phone calls started coming in at Logan's. As Bling offered him the phone he would just shake his head no. Then Max understood why nobody had come by yesterday. He hadn't told anyone that he was going home. Now they had caught up with him but he didn't want to talk. A part of Max could understand him. She didn't know if it was right or wrong but she could relate to the need to fight battles alone, not to rely on anyone. And so she didn't venture any nearer to Logan than the roof across the street.  
  
The next morning she went back before work, then again at lunch and again all evening until Logan went to bed. He became her focus, her obsession. To be there, to encourage any small change, any improvement. It was the same routine every day, eat, rest, read, write, stare out the window and eventually sleep. Sometimes Logan would allow Bling to help him into bed but more often than not he would fall asleep on the couch reading a book or in his chair writing in his journal and staring out the window until his exhausted body gave in to sleep. Bling would then gently pick him up and take him to bed. Then Max could go home.  
  
After a few days Logan's health began to improve. With regular meals and rest and Bling's concerned care his body began to heal. The colour came back to his face and he no longer cringed in pain every time he had to be moved. But at the same time Max watched Logan's frustration grow as he realized he was still almost totally dependent on Bling physically. He barely had the strength to wheel himself across the room let alone get in and out of the chair, yet he pushed Bling to get started on his rehab program.  
  
From her post on the roof Max watched the same scenario play out every night. As the rain began to fall around her the tension in Logan's penthouse grew.  
  
"Look, Bling. I can't wait any longer. We need to start rehab tomorrow." Logan's intensity increased every day.  
  
"No." Max couldn't believe how calm Bling could be.  
  
"Why?"   
  
Logan this isn't going to get you anywhere Max thought.  
  
"How many days have you been home?" Bling would reply with the same question every day.  
  
"Six." Yesterday it was five.  
  
"Geez Logan, you're starting to sound like a broken record." Max tried to distance herself but the man's frustration was affecting her deeply.  
  
"I said, you need to wait two weeks." Bling was matter of fact but he was always around to make sure that Logan did in fact rest.  
  
"I can't wait two weeks! I can't wait another day! I need to do something now!" Logan was about to explode.  
  
Bling got down on his knees in front of Logan's chair so he could look at him face to face. His eyes were full of compassion.  
  
"I'm sorry Logan. I can't make this go any faster. You've just begun healing from the surgery. If we push it too fast you could end up tearing yourself up inside. I don't want you back in the hospital again."   
  
Somehow Logan swallowed his anger and frustration and wheeled himself to the window to watch the rain.  
  
The rainy nights were the worst. Logan would sit in front of that window as the rain poured tears down the panes. Tears that he wouldn't or couldn't shed. It seemed the only way he could endure the night was to focus on the rain. Somehow Bling seemed to understand and let him stay by the window. As the rain poured down upon her Max sat and watched and waited with him. When the morning dawned Logan was able to pull away and ask Bling to help him into bed so he could sleep a few hours. It was as if Logan lived for the dawn, for that symbol of hope. He had to see the new day before he could believe it and then he could rest.  
  
Max climbed down off the roof to retrieve her bike. Might as well go in to work early. Normal will be so pleased. It's off to work we go... Max's feeble attempts at cynical humor sounded hollow to her. She knew that they would both face many more nights like the last one.  
  
The next day Logan appeared calmer on the surface but in his eyes Max could see a determination that wasn't there before. He was going to do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. He was just biding his time until the opportunity came.  
  
A few days later he got what he was looking for. For the first time Bling reluctantly left Logan alone to run to the store to pick up a few groceries. He figured Logan would be okay alone for a half hour or so but gave him his pager just in case.  
  
Logan waited until he heard the elevator descending then he pushed himself toward the couch. Max could tell exactly what he was planning to do. He was going to get out of the chair by himself even if it killed him. And he was going to do it today.  
  
Logan locked the wheels of his chair and with his hands picked up one lifeless leg then the other and placed them on the floor. He pushed himself forward to the edge of the chair then placed his hands on the couch. He took a deep breath and as he exhaled he swung his hips towards the couch. But he didn't have the strength to support his whole body weight. His arms gave out and he collapsed onto the floor.  
  
Max couldn't believe this guy. It was obvious that he wasn't going to make it but still he had to be a Man and do it himself.  
  
"That's it Logan Cale. Solitude or no solitude. I'm coming over!" She yelled at him as she started to take off in a fast run. "No wonder I'm here. You need someone to make sure you don't break your neck!"  
  
  
To be continued...  



	2. Small Miracles

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em...you know the rest.  
  
Spoilers: Pilot  
  
By: A Fan  
  
Title: Someone to Watch Over  
  
Chapter 2: Small Miracles   
  
Just as Max was about to race over to Logan's she heard Bling coming into the apartment.  
  
"..forgot the list...." Bling stopped short as he saw Logan collapsed on the floor.  
  
"Oh God... Logan... I'm so sorry.... I shouldn't have left you alone." Bling choked out the words. His voice was thick with concern. He raced over and bent down to help Logan but was pushed away.  
  
"Leave me alone! I can do it myself!" Bling was so shocked that he just stood back and stared. Logan was lying face down on the floor. He was obviously exhausted but with every bit of strength he had left he pushed himself up. He then reached up to the edge of the couch and grasping and pulling he somehow managed to twist himself into a seated position on the floor. His whole body was shaking from the effort yet he looked up at Bling defiantly.  
  
"You pull a stunt like that again and I'll kill you!" Bling was furious when he realized what Logan had been trying to do. But despite his shock and anger, Max could hear an underlying note of relief in his voice. He dropped down on the floor beside Logan and held his head in his hands in exasperation.  
  
"We start tomorrow." It was a simple statement.  
  
"What?" Logan wasn't quite sure what he heard.  
  
"You're ready." Bling was serious.  
  
"What about the two weeks?" Logan still couldn't believe it.  
  
"Close enough. Besides if I don't teach you how to do this soon I'm going to be scraping your sorry body off the floor of this apartment every day." Bling smiled. "We start tomorrow. 10 am. Now, do you want to get on the couch or are you going to sit there all day?"  
  
For once Logan accepted his help without protest.  
  
"Gotta Bounce!" Max said to herself. She was ready to get out of there. This guy was going to give her a freaking heart attack.   
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"I'm gonna get fired. There's no way Normal's gonna keep accepting the stupid excuses I've been giving him each time I blow off work. I don't need to see this. It's just a rehab session. There's gonna be hundreds just like this. They're gonna lift some weights, do a few sit-ups, work on some flexibility. Logan's gonna pressure Bling to do more. Bling's gonna preach to him about patience and takin' it slow. You'd think I'd know these guys by now. I don't need to be here."  
  
It was 9:50 am the next morning. Max was back on the roof waiting for Bling to finish setting up his training table and halfheartedly trying to convince herself to leave.  
  
"Don't kid yourself Max." She said out loud. "You wouldn't miss this for the world."  
  
Then Bling's voice cut through the air. "Logan this is the program. We will start with a short warmup. One or too lengths across the living room, taking it slow should do it. Then we'll get you onto the table to work on muscular endurance. We'll focus mainly on chest and upper arms, the pectoralis muscles and the triceps. We'll also work on your back muscles, the lattisimus dorsi and trapezius, and on abdominals for balance and stability. Then we'll finish with some flexibility and range of motion work. In a couple of weeks or so we'll add some more intense strength training. Once you've built up some strength and endurance in your upper body you can start covering longer distances in the chair to get your heart rate up and give you some cardiovascular training. But for now we are going to focus on strength and endurance. The program today should take about an hour."  
  
"An hour! That's it?" Logan's patience was already tested and they hadn't even started yet. Max almost laughed.  
  
"It'll be enough." Bling was matter of fact. "Let's get started."  
  
Bling cleared the obstacles from the centre of the room and had Logan push himself to the windows and back. Logan took off with an intense ferocity.  
  
"Wo!! Slow down!!. This is supposed to be a warm up not a blow out!" It took all of Bling's effort to get Logan to slow down and pace himself.   
  
"Get with the program Logan!" Max shouted at him from across the street. This guy was so predictable but she couldn't help admiring his tenacity.  
  
Bling then helped Logan onto the exercise table. Throughout the whole session Bling kept up a running commentary.  
  
"Logan, we will begin by working the abdominal muscles." Bling had Logan lie on his back on the table. "I'm going to move to the side of the table so I can support your legs as we work." Bling bent Logan's legs and placed his feet flat on the bench. He then placed one hand over Logan's knees to support them in place. "This position will put less strain on your lower back and also help you to isolate your abs. Your injury is at vertebrae T8 in the mid thorasic region, your mid back, so you have relatively good abdominal control. These muscles are the key to providing balance and stability for everything else that we will do so we will begin here." Max could see that Logan was intensely focused on everything Bling was saying. "Today we will focus on simple contractions. At this point our goal is not to fatigue your abdominals but to increase your awareness of how they function. In the next few weeks we will progress to more advanced exercises as you regain strength in this area."  
  
"Logan, I'm going to place my hand on your stomach. Can you feel that?" At Logan's nod Bling continued. "I want you to contract the muscles under my hand then relax them. Good, that was a strong contraction." Bling smiled at Logan and continued again. "Let's do that one more time. This time breathe out when you contract and breathe in when you relax. Good. Now hold the contraction for a count of two and relax for a count of two. Okay. Let's do a few more like that." Bling continued to guide Logan through the exercise. "Excellent job. That's enough repetitions for today." Bling finished with another smile. "We want to reserve some of your strength for the remaining exercises. You will find that you will be using your abdominals to stabilize every exercise that we do today so we don't want to overdo it now."  
  
"Let's move on to some upper body work." Bling released Logan's legs. "I am going to move to the head of the table to spot you during the bench press. While we work through the exercise I want you to exhale on exertion the same way you did with the abdominal contractions. I also want you to remember to keep your abs engaged throughout the exercise. This will provide support for your lower back." Bling moved to the head of the table then placed a couple of light dumbbells in Logan's hands. "Now push straight up to the ceiling for a count of two and lower for a count of two. Good. Let's do it again." Bling spotted Logan just above the elbows as they worked through several repetitions.  
  
Bling then helped Logan sit up and they worked through a few more exercises in a similar manner. With each exercise Bling described the muscle group being targeted and explained how the exercise would strengthen the muscle. Cool! An anatomy and physiology lesson all wrapped up in one, thought Max. She was impressed with Bling's skill and fascinated by the knowledge that he shared so easily. After about thirty minutes Logan was noticeably tiring. As he strained to complete the last couple of repetitions Max could hear his laboured breathing.  
  
"Excellent work Logan." Logan seemed encouraged by Bling's comments. "Now I want you to relax as we work on your flexibility. We'll start with the upper body first and stretch the muscles you worked today. I want you to breath regularly as we move into and hold each position." As Bling worked Max could see Logan relax into the stretches. "Okay, now we will work on the range of motion in your hips, knees and ankles. Even though you can't feel it right now I want you to think relaxed and free. This is one of the most important things we will do each day even if we do nothing else. We need to maintain the elasticity in your leg muscles and to keep the synovial fluid moving in your joints. This is essential for you to be able to walk again." Bling said it so calmly and matter-of-factly there appeared to be no question in his mind that Logan would walk again.  
  
Bling's comment took both Max and Logan by surprise. Logan looked at Bling with shock in his eyes but only saw Bling's steady gaze in return. Max could see the seed of hope was planted in Logan's heart and, she couldn't deny it, in her heart too.   
  
"Bling, you'd better not be messin' with this guy or I'll kick your ass." After seeing in what bad shape Logan came home from the hospital Max had almost given up on the idea of his walking. Now she wasn't so sure. But to protect both Logan and herself she didn't quite want to believe it. She instinctively new how devastated Logan would be if it didn't come true and wanted to protect him from any more heartache. "Girl you are way too involved with this guy" she accused herself.  
  
"Logan, I've got something for you." Bling's voice drew Max back into what was happening across the street. "Let's move over by the couch." He helped Logan back into his chair and pushed him over to the couch. He then went into his room and brought out a short flat board. It was about three feet long with rounded ends. The wider end was about a foot and a half across and the narrow end was about six inches across.  
  
"What's that? It looks like a mutant surfboard." Logan's curiosity was piqued.  
  
"Close. It's called a slide board. It'll be a few more weeks before you build up the strength to do chair transfers easily by yourself, but you can use this to help you right away. I think you are strong enough to use it now."  
  
"How does it work?" Logan was cautious but also hopeful that he might be able to have some more freedom.  
  
"Align your chair sideways to the couch." Bling explained the slide board's use as he helped Logan to try it out for the first time. "Place your feet on the floor and move the pedals out of the way. Now place the wide end of the board under your hip and place the narrow end on the couch. Since you can't feel it under there you must always do a visual double check to make sure that it's tucked far enough under your hip to be stable. Now lean forward and with your hands on the board just pull yourself forward. The board will support your bodyweight. That's it! You did it. Now try it going back to the chair."  
  
"Can we try it again?" Max could hear the excitement in Logan's voice.  
  
"Sure as many times as you want." With each attempt Logan's smile grew and so did Max's. It was almost like a miracle.  
  
"Can I try it in the bedroom?"  
  
"Sure" Bling got up to go with Logan.  
  
"I really want to try this by myself." Logan pleaded. "If you hear a crash you can come and scrape me off the floor."  
  
"Okay... just don't rush it." Bling was reluctant but he also wanted Logan to enjoy his newfound independence.  
  
A few minutes later Logan rolled back into the living room with a schoolboy grin on his face. As he tried the board a few more times he looked like he had been given the best gift a kid could ever want. His smile was so infectious that Max couldn't help grinning from ear to ear as well.  
  
Suddenly Logan became very serious and looked down silently at his legs. After several minutes he looked up at Bling with tears in his eyes. A look of intense gratitude was written all over Logan's face.  
  
"Thanks, Bling. You don't know how much this means to me..." Logan couldn't say anything more.  
  
"Don't mention it man." Bling placed a comforting hand on Logan's shoulder.  
  
Max stood on the roof a long time after Bling and Logan had moved into the kitchen out of her view. The intensity of the moment left an indelible mark on her. Max had never seen Logan cry even through all he had been through. Yet he was crying now. Here was this guy that through his family had all the money and power that anyone could want. But at this moment the most precious thing to him was the simple ability to move from his chair to his couch by himself. Max awkwardly wiped the unexpected tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand as she contemplated what Logan had lost to bring him to this day. Yet at the same time she gained a new appreciation for the simple things in life and the small miracles that sometimes make them possible. The scene continued to play in her head long after she had climbed off the roof and biked back to Jam Pony for an afternoon of delivering packages.  
  
A/N: Not a lot of "action" in the usual sense. But hopefully it moved you in a different way. Let me know how you felt reading it.   
  
There will be more to come in a few days.  
  
  



	3. Healing

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.......  
  
Title: Someone to Watch Over  
  
By: a fan  
  
Spoilers: Pilot  
  
Feedback: Always welcome just email me at afanofda@yahoo.com  
  
  
A/N: Thanks for the wonderful thoughtful reviews. They make a huge difference for me. It's true that the show has actually glossed over how Logan deals with his disability. You might not have noticed but they have never even showed him getting in or out of his car with the chair. I've seen some friends and family deal with these things and in reality it's a daily grind overcoming all the obstacles. So, I hope you guys are ready for a lot more angst and hopefully a few resolutions.  
  
  
Chapter 3: Healing  
  
Max avoided Logan's for a couple of weeks after the slide board day. She knew that there would be months of work ahead for Logan and she wasn't sure she could endure it. She couldn't just sit on the roof and watch Logan struggle without doing something, anything to help him. But, she didn't know what she could do. She knew for a fact that she couldn't visit him. Logan still hadn't allowed any of his family or friends back into his life. And after they way they had parted before he was shot she was sure he wouldn't want to see her either. All she could do was watch and wait and hope for him. The problem was that Max was great at action but watching and waiting and hoping she was not so sure about.   
  
In the end her feline DNA got the best of her.  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat." Max chastised herself as she climb the fire escape to her roof perch. "Great Max! Now you're quoting stupid cliches!"   
  
It was 10 a.m. and Max had wangled a couple of hours away from Jam Pony by promising to work through the lunch hour and do some runs after hours. It also didn't hurt that she had worked her tail off for Normal in the last two weeks. She had spent so much of her life running and wishing for the things she never had. But, for the first time she felt an immense gratitude for the simple things in her life that she did have. The freedom and movement as she pedaled her bike became a wonderful experience for her. She lived for the feeling of the wind in her hair and the contractions of her leg muscles as they effortlessly powered the pedals. She couldn't spend enough time on the road so she filled her pack with packages and when she had delivered them all she raced back for more.  
  
For two hours Max watched Logan work with Bling. There were no significant changes to the program yet there was a visible difference as they worked. Logan was able to do more repetitions than that first day but he also seemed to have a greater confidence and conviction in what he was doing.   
  
Max also noticed that Bling had slowly started chipping away at Logan's protective shell, encouraging him to open up a little and unload some of the weight he was carrying. His first mission was to find out why Logan had completely avoided his computer room since he had come home from the hospital. So with a few simple questions he brought the subject up.  
  
"Logan, mind if I take a look at your computer? I love to play with those things." Bling sounding almost like a school kid asking to borrow a friend's toy.  
  
"Sure...whatever." Logan seemed distracted as if its mention brought back some haunting memories.  
  
So Bling fooled around on the computer for about a half hour then caught up with Logan who was back staring out the window.  
  
"Great system you got there. Whadaya use it for?" Bling's tone was light and conversational but he could see Logan tense as he brought up the subject again.  
  
"Research mostly. I used to write a few articles once in a while." It was obvious that Logan was hiding something that hurt him deeply so Bling casually changed the subject.  
  
"Cool. You ready for some lunch?" He pushed Logan over to the kitchen.  
  
Just knowing that Bling was there to help Logan along put Max's mind at ease. As the days rolled into weeks Max continued her vigil. She found that her mood was totally tied to Logan's progress however small or big. She would replay every workout in her head while she was at work. The day Logan completed his first sit up she was ecstatic. Then the next day he shocked her by doing five and the week after that he did ten. Max was amazed at Logan's determination. It seemed that Logan transferred the intensity that he normally reserved for his Eyes Only work to his training program. When the gang at work would catch her smiling for no reason she would just answer "It's all good." Max was grateful they didn't ask her why because there was no way she could explain it to them.  
  
A couple of weeks later Bling pushed the computer subject a little bit further.  
  
"I've rarely seen a system like yours Logan. You've got a lot of great stuff here, scanning and surveillance equipment and sophisticated hacking hardware and software. You've got a lot more than you would need to break through a couple of firewalls here and there. What do you do with this stuff anyway?'   
  
"Nothing, I'm planning to sell it." Then Logan's curiosity was piqued. "How do you know about this stuff anyway?"  
  
"I've worked some security in my day. But I much prefer whipping guys like you into shape."   
  
Logan smiled at that comment so was caught off guard with the next question.  
  
"You can tell me Logan, get it off your chest."  
  
"I was also doing some security work. But my last job went sideways." Logan tried to appear calm but there was intense pain in his eyes.  
  
"Your Doc told me that you had been shot when I came on board but he didn't go into the circumstances. It had to do with this last job didn't it?"  
  
"Yeah" Logan's tone indicated that he wished they wouldn't talk about this.  
  
"I have a lot of respect for you Man. It takes a lot of courage to take another's safety into your hands." The sincerity was obvious in Bling's voice. "Sometimes things don't go the way we want but it doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing."  
  
Bling seemed to realize that although Logan was strengthening physically his emotional wounds were much deeper and more difficult to heal. Logan would often pour his frustrations out during their rehab sessions, pushing and pulling the weights with ferocity. Bling would have to slow him down and sometimes stop him all together for fear he would injure himself. At other times Logan would fight Bling at every turn, questioning the need and value of each exercise. On those nights Logan would end up back at the window staring at the rain and waiting for the morning to come. And from across the street Max could do nothing more than endure it with him.  
  
Bling worked hard to pull Logan out of himself, to break through the protective shell that he had trapped himself in. He encouraged Logan to return some of the calls that were coming in but was always met with a steely no. So instead he would spend hours trying to coax conversation out of Logan to pull him away from his overwhelming thoughts and to help him to find a few moments of peace or even forgetfulness.   
  
Bling also continued to push the subject of Logan's "security work". He knew that was where a lot of Logan's pain was coming from. It was late one night and Logan was back watching the rain, seemingly trapped in the past that haunted him.   
  
"Tell me about it Logan." Bling's voice was gentle as he waited patiently by the window. After what seemed like an eternity Logan began to talk.  
  
"I was protecting Lauren Braganza and her daughter. She was going to testify against Edward Sonrisa. I was trying to get her to witness protection when we were ambushed. I promised her that she and her daughter would be safe but the last thing I remember Sophy was being ripped out of my arms. Oh God! What did I do? I'm the great Eyes Only," Logan said the words in disgust. "but I didn't have eyes to see what I was getting that woman and her daughter into. I've got a lot of blood on my hands from that day."  
  
"It must be really hard man, to loose your whole security crew in one fight. But at least Sonrisa is dead and Ms. Berganza and her daughter got connected with the witness protection program."  
  
"She did?" Logan was shocked to hear the news. He had assumed that everyone had been killed. He had been so sick in the hospital that he never thought to ask and no one had even considered telling him. Max was as shocked as Logan. She couldn't believe that he didn't know. No wonder he carried such a heavy burden.  
  
"You didn't know? Nobody told you?" Bling was incredulous.  
  
"I've been kinda out of the loop." Logan said shakily. "They made it? But my guys didn't..." There was relief but also great sorrow in his voice.  
  
"Nobody knows why Sonrisa was killed." Bling was trying to offer a good piece of news.  
  
"Max." Logan whispered her name. He had thought she was long gone but somehow he knew that she had made this happen.  
  
"Max? I recognize that name. She's the girl that got you away from the second sniper attempt. Your Doc told me about her. She told him you needed a room with a better view." Bling almost laughed. "Then she disappeared."  
  
"She what?" Logan's mind was reeling. Sam had mentioned a second attempt on his life but it was all part of the cloud around him as he slowly came back to consciousness in the hospital. He couldn't remember the details of anything. But that sounded just like Max. Her sarcasm never failed her.  
  
"Has she called?" Logan asked as if he almost expected her to be checking in on him.  
  
"Not yet. But judging from her actions so far you'll be seeing her when the time is right."   
  
Max was irate. How could Bling sound so confident about the way she would act? He hadn't even met her. The guy had some balls! It was eery for Max listening to them talk about her. She almost took off but she decided to stick it through.  
  
Logan turned back to his usual place by the window. For the first time some of the enormous weight seemed to have lifted off his shoulders. Logan searched in Max's direction as if he was looking for something or someone. He was looking right at her almost as if he could see her, although Max knew that was not possible.   
  
"Thank you Max." He whispered into the night. Max could see the relief and gratitude in his eyes.  
  
"You're welcome Logan." Max smiled back in his direction.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bling's primary goal had become to break Logan out of the prison he had built for himself. Helping Logan reveal his Eyes Only work and share his grief about that day helped but there were still so many barriers to break through. Logan was still very isolated and had not yet even ventured out of the apartment. So Bling started chipping away again. He would casually invite Logan to go shopping or run a few errands with him but was met with a look that Max could only describe as pure terror. As she looked at Logan's eyes during those moments Max realized the depth of his wounds and her soul ached for him.  
  
But with kindness and persistence Bling tore down one hurdle at a time. After another sleepless night he caught Logan staring longingly at a beautiful sunrise and he gently tried again.  
  
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Bling asked.  
  
"Yeah, I can't remember the last time I had the sun shining on my face." Logan was yearning to get as close to it as he could.  
  
"Let's go down and really enjoy it." Max could see Logan visibly tense at the words, but Bling persisted.  
  
"We'll just go as far as the curb." Bling was considerate of Logan's apprehension. "We'll have the street to ourselves. Everybody is still asleep. You'll see it's not so bad out there." He brought Logan his jacket and when he accepted it he headed towards to door of the apartment. Logan hesitatingly followed. It was obvious that he was very self-conscious as Bling coaxed him out of the building. There was fear in his eyes. Fear that he wouldn't be able to navigate the traffic or the curbs or cross the street fast enough. And fear of whom he would meet and how they would look at him. It was obvious that he felt totally vulnerable as he left the security of his apartment. But Bling was true to his word and he found a spot near the corner where they could just sit and bask in the sun. And as it rose in the sky its warm rays wrapped themselves around both men. Up on the roof Max maneuvered herself into the sunlight as well. And so the three of them stayed there for a long time letting the sun shine on their faces and its light enter into their souls.  
  
The next day with Bling's encouragement Logan ventured as far as the neighbourhood park. The quietness of the place somehow seemed to calm him. He watched the children playing for a long time before he asked Bling to go home. And so a door was opened. From then on Logan and Bling would go out every day to shop or run errands or just for long walks around the park. Max would sometimes follow along, watching from a distance, but she still preferred to be on the roof where she could hear Logan's voice and see his eyes.  
  
It had been two and a half months, but even after telling Bling about Eyes Only Logan had still not once ventured near his computer. As he moved about his apartment he didn't even look that way. It seemed that when he lost the use of his legs he also lost Eyes Only. Bling would encourage him to review what was coming through on the informant net but Logan just avoided it.  
  
In the middle of a workout one day Bling brought the subject up again.  
  
"Logan, why don't you bring Eyes Only back?" His voice was questioning but also encouraging.  
  
"I can't. I don't have the energy for it anymore, or the strength. I was an idiot to think I could change the world. What a load of crap!" Logan paused for a moment then continued ironically. " Well I did manage to change something. I made a mess of my life and the lives of a lot of other people."  
  
Bling had heard these reasons many times before and he was no longer going to put up with them. Bling grabbed the large mirror hanging behind the bathroom door and propped it up against the exercise table. He rolled Logan in front of the mirror.  
  
"Take a look." Logan glanced at himself then quickly looked away as if he was ashamed of the person he saw looking back at him.  
  
"Logan, look again, really look this time and tell me what you see." Bling was so intense that Logan complied.  
  
"I see a man who screwed up his life and the lives of those that relied on him. I screwed up the one thing I thought I was good at and it cost my friends' lives. I'm working so hard to gain some freedom from this chair but sometimes I feel I deserve this steel trap that I'm in. That I'm being punished for my arrogance, in thinking that I could change the world."  
  
"Let me tell you what I see." Bling stared intently at Logan in the mirror.   
  
"I see a man who is willing to risk everything for what is right. A man of courage and determination who is willing to fight battles even under impossible odds. A man who's paid a heavy price for freedom but won't give up. A man who I would follow and fight for and die with."   
  
They both looked at the mirror for a long time asking themselves if the men they saw staring back at them were the men they wanted to be. As Max watched them she could tell that Logan wasn't sure that he was the man Bling described. But she felt in her heart that he did have that strength inside him and that he just needed the time to heal and find it within himself again.  
  
The next day Logan returned to his computer for the first time since he came home from the hospital. He tentatively clicked on the first file and began to read. He was soon immersed in the waves of information that continued to come over the informant net despite the fact that he hadn't responded in months. From then on his Eyes Only research became a regular part of his life. He would spend hours each day organizing collating and archiving the endless stream of information that came through the net. As he worked Max knew that he was preparing for the day when he would do more than research, when he would need to act.  
  
And so Max watched Logan slowly piece his life back together again. Even as his legs continued to atrophy she watched him gain physical and emotional strength. He no longer relied on Bling so intensely but began to find strength within himself. He would even venture out on his own into the crowds that had terrified him so much a few weeks before. Max could see the muscle tone beginning to return to his arms and back as he worked hard to push the wheels of his chair. He would then return home to train with Bling for a few hours. He would spend his evenings writing and posting articles on the cyber news network. He even started cooking for Bling telling him jokingly that he was sick of having the same three meals over and over again. As Max watched him on those days it seemed that maybe Logan could have a normal life again. But every so often something would happen to remind Max that things really weren't "all good" and that despite his progress Logan still had huge hurdles to overcome.  
  
A few evenings later Max was back at her post listening to Logan prepare for dinner in the kitchen. He and Bling had had a great workout that day so he was in a great mood. He rolled over to the fridge to check out the supplies. "Bling whadaya want for dinner?" he shouted over his shoulder as he quickly pulled the door open. Logan's chair was in an awkward angle because he had turned to talk to Bling and the door hit his foot pedal with full force. Max heard a pitcher of milk crash down onto the floor sending glass and liquid everywhere.   
  
"No." Logan almost whispered the word as if he was trying to push away the anger that was welling up inside him. Then he repeated it louder. "No!" But as his frustrations overwhelmed him he could just repeat it over and over again. "No. No. No. No." And with a fury he didn't know he had he slammed the door repeatedly into his chair sending most of the contents of the fridge onto the floor.  
  
"Easy Man" Bling tried to calm Logan down but was met with a furious gaze.  
  
"Leave it! I'll clean it up later." Logan left the mess in the kitchen and rolled over to the window.  
  
An hour later Bling came and stood beside Logan.  
  
"I'm sorry." Logan apologized as he continued to stare out the window. "I was thinking about other things and I just forgot to leave enough clearance between the fridge door and my chair." Logan paused for a moment then continued in a sad voice. "Sometimes I get so tired of having to adapt to my so-called "new life". Of having to think if my chair is in the way of a door. Or of how I'm going to get around or over or through an obstacle. Of having to renovate the bathroom so I can wheel in to take a shower and put bars by the toilet so I don't fall off and break my neck at night. Of building a lower worktable in the kitchen so I can cook and of having to move everything into the lower cupboards because the high ones are useless to me now. Of having to call ahead to see if there are stairs or elevators where I want to go. Of having to think about and plan every move that I make. I'm tired of slide boards and all the miraculous aids that I can't live without but remind me of my disability every moment of every day. I just wish I could have one day when I wasn't reminded of these things."  
  
Both Max and Bling knew that they couldn't say anything that could make these things go away. So they stood with Logan and silently shared his burden with him, Bling at his side and Max across the chasm that she still couldn't breach.  
  
Logan broke the silence himself.  
  
"No use crying over spilled milk." He was trying so hard to face his life again.   
  
"Bling... help me clean up?" He asked sheepishly.  
  
"My pleasure man." Bling followed Logan into the kitchen. Together they cleaned up the day's mess and prepared themselves to meet tomorrow.  
  
Then next day brought the event that Logan had been preparing for the last three months.  
  
'Oh God!... Bling! ..." Logan had just pulled a post off the informant net. As Bling raced over Logan was already on the phone calling his contact. He pointed to the post entitled "40 killed-Andrea Marlene" which was still on his screen. "Bling, could you get on the net and see what you can pull up on these guys?" For hours, Logan and Bling poured over the Andrea Marlene file looking for possible leads as to who was responsible for the deaths. In a quite moment Bling looked up at Logan with an intent look on his face.  
  
"You're doin' good man." It was more than a compliment about Logan's work. It was a statement about how far Logan had come.  
  
"Thanks, but I've still got a long way to go." Logan was taken by surprise.  
  
"I know. But you've been working your ass off. You're on the right road." Logan smiled at the encouragement and buried his head back in the files. A few minutes later he looked back up at Bling.  
  
"Thanks for putting me back together."   
  
"Don't mention it." Now it was Bling's turn to be surprised.  
  
"No I mean it. I know I've fought you almost every step of the way but I probably would've died those first couple of weeks without your help. I definitely wouldn't be doing what I am doing now. I'd probably still be in a corner somewhere terrified of the world. You've helped me to reclaim my life."  
  
Bling was used to getting thanks from his clients but Logan's gratitude affected him at a much deeper level. They had developed much more than a typical client therapist relationship. As they worked together and fought so many physical and emotional battles together they built an unbreakable bond between them. Max understood this completely because she had the same relationship with her brothers and sisters and it had endured even after all the years of not seeing them.  
  
Bling tried to voice the respect and admiration he had for Logan but he felt his words couldn't portray how he really felt.  
  
"I'm honored Man... I really am."   
  
They worked through the night and all of the next day barely stopping to eat or stretch. Then they were right back at work again putting together their case. Max could tell that they were getting close to their target. That evening Logan started setting up his broadcast equipment. He was ready. He put on his headset, turned on the camera and began his first broadcast in three months.  
  
"This is a streaming freedom video..."  
  
"It's time." Max climbed down off the roof of the building and let herself into Logan's apartment. She had waited a long time for this day and she hadn't even known what she was waiting for. But now that it was here she knew. He gratitude to Bling for helping it happen and her admiration of Logan for fighting his way back were immeasurable.  
  
"Forty seven people paying twenty thousand each to be smuggled into Canada so that they could earn enough money to eat are dead. They were marched overboard last night by their ruthless handlers who operate with the knowledge, support and active collaboration of government officials only too happy to look the other way for a piece of the action. This must never happen again. Those responsible are on notice. Their power and privilege will not protect them. They will be held accountable... "  
  
As Logan finished his broadcast Max walked quietly into the room and casually leaned into the doorjamb.  
  
"This has been a streaming freedom video bulletin via the Eyes Only informant net. Peace. Out."  
  
"Peace." Max could hear the sadness in Logan's voice as he said the word. He wanted so much for everyone to have it yet he knew from personal experience that it took a lot of work to find it.  
  
Logan caught her figure in the corner of his eye and turned toward her.  
  
"I see you are back at it, rocking the boat." Max had a tone of cautious amusement in her voice. She kept her distance, staying in the doorway. She didn't want to get too close to this man who had affected her so deeply.  
  
"Somebody's got to." Logan replied with the same sadness but also with his old determination.  
  
'I would have come sooner... but... I didn't." Her comment came out sarcastic. Max wasn't about to let him in on how concerned she was for him. But her heart betrayed her as she smiled nervously hoping that he wouldn't reject her. "How're you do'in?" Max moved a little closer to Logan...  
  
And you know the rest....  
  
PEACE. OUT.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
